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Ministry is Messy

October 11, 2023 - Instead of saving my thoughts about Dennis and then sharing on his Caring Bridge page at the end of the week, I decided to speak to something that God has been showing both me and Steve with regards to ministry in general. This speaks of Dennis, but it is SO much more than Dennis.

Yesterday morning, Steve went to see Dennis as usual. He always goes to take him out for a smoke before he comes into work at the cafe. Up until yesterday, we were having a "calm week". We did much talking, listening, instructing and guiding. We laughed and joked around a lot. Then we had our first "Gump Day" of the week. Sighhhhh......Unbeknownst to Steve, he had butt dialed me and I heard everything that was taking place in Dennis's room. Not only was Dennis off on a tangent, but his roomie was yelling and cussing and you would have thought that the whole world was coming to an end. I heard Dennis raising cane and then I heard Steve say, "Now, what good did that do you? Did it get you what you wanted"? I just hung up the phone and dropped my head and whispered a prayer, "God help us".

When we went back to see Dennis after lunch, we talked about the "incident" and in love, pointed out where he went off kilter. Well, he got mad at us and wanted to be taken back to his room after being confronted with his behavior. I had to go to his care team meeting so I left. Steve did tell me that they both talked going back to his room and he did say that, "I hope Miss Ann comes back". I guess I am not banished forever 🙂

I said all that to say this.......Steve and I just THOUGHT we knew what ministry was. Had I known what I know now, in all honesty, I probably would not be doing what I am doing now. I am/was what I like to call a "carpet bomber" of the Gospel. I like to go in and say what I have to say and move on to the next big group. Walking out the Gospel daily like Jesus did.......again, if I am honest, is NOT what I enjoy doing. I always THINK I have too much to do to do that kind of ministry. And.......if you're honest.......it's NOT what You want to do either.
However, Jesus did just exactly that. He taught generally one on one. He WALKED WITH them (his disciples especially) and taught as they went from place to place. In Mark 6:34 (the feeding of the 5000), it says that "When Jesus saw the crowd, he had compassion on them, for they seemed as though they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he sat down and began to teach them many things". As busy as Jesus was, He took the time to sit down with them and to teach them and to answer their questions. He fed them, he healed them, He loved them and they knew they were loved.

My question......if we are to pattern our lives after Jesus and do what He did while on earth, why aren't we? Could it be that we THINK we are too busy or we see people not with the eyes of Jesus, but thru our own lens/filter and then deem them as worthy or unworthy of OUR time or effort?? It's a lot easier to "carpet bomb" the Gospel over people, than it is to get immersed into one's drama and personally walk out our faith before them. Real ministry is indeed messy, time consuming and exhausting AND then realizing that the person God has given you to walk with may fail many times before it clicks. And yes, it may never click. Jesus did not call us to "easy".

Dennis is not the only person that God is dealing with here. God is also dealing with both me and Steve on a personal level. He is teaching us how to love, confront in love, persevere, how to have faith when you see nothing happening, and above all not to give up on Dennis/others OR GOD himself in the midst of MESSY.

Today we will hang a sign in Dennis's room that say's in beautiful, bold, black letters - SELF HAS TO DIE. Yep, I think that same sign will find a place in our own home as a reminder to us. What about YOU?
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